Advent Season?

Insomnia has struck me so here I go again, thinking I have something to share. The holiday season is upon us and I seem a little confused and misguided. Part of me embraces this season with full heart and focuses on Advent, the real reason we have anything to celebrate. Part of me wants to play the part, bust out my glittery ensemble and see how many presents I can buy. The second admittance is likely my attempt to maintain a tradition or make up for those traditions lost. If I put on earrings, actually take a shower in the morning and attend (or try my best to get invited) to as many grown-up gatherings and Santa saturated activities then I shall have all the things I want, my check-list complete. We all know this is baloney.

Don't misunderstand me, I love a good party. And I enjoy watching my kids light up at the thought or sight of St. Nick and all the wonderment and innocent anticipation we enjoy this time of year. It gives everyone a chance to reminisce, recall a favorite childhood memory. Over Thanksgiving my mom asked us about our favorite Christmas presents growing up. I immediately remembered four things. My raggedy Ann doll perched sweetly in a rocking chair under our tree, my Kirby teddy bear who attended Butler University and now gets tucked in with Max every night, my twin cabbage patch dolls from my sweet Aunt Rosie and the Christmas morning a telephone (cord and all) rang right in my room.

These are all tangible gifts, they all cost money. My favorite was not a handmade ornament (though I have piles to love) or mixed tape made just for me. But I was a kid, my job was to get excited about playing, opening gifts, dreaming of Santa.

I do believe my job as a parent is to keep the awe and even a little sizzle alive for my kids but also to help them understand there are those less fortunate and we probably should buy an extra pack of socks, pick up a few more groceries, drop off cookies for the shelter and overfill the toy collection bin. But everyone else is doing that and we get a pass because we are really busy, we have really little kids. Right? We can try and do some of that next year. Maybe next year we can remind ourselves and introduce our children to the meaning of Advent and the birthday we celebrate. But we actually are very busy and it is really difficult to prioritize when you are being stretched so thin. It comes down to breathing deeply and taking a little stock in what creates your own happy, and that might be very different from your neighbor and that's alright.

If you haven't sealed your designer Christmas cards, baked intricately decorated cookies for your kid's entire school, completed all your shopping while sipping peppermint mochas and simultaneously adopted a family yet---there is still time. No scratch that, don't do it all because that is unreasonable and stressful. But try and do something you haven't done before. Don't send Christmas cards if it just overwhelms you and it only feels like an obligation. Instead call your grandma, finish your shopping and maybe just pick up an extra pack of socks for those who don't have any.

Author Shauna Niequist and my two little guys inspired this blog post. In "Bittersweet" Niequist observes, "If what it takes for you this year to be present in this sacred, thin place, to feel the breath and presence of a Holy God, is to forgo the cookies and cards and the rushing and the lists, then we'll all be all right with cookies from the store and a few less gifts. It would be a great loss for you to miss this season, the soul of it, because you're too busy pushing and rushing. And it would be a great loss if the people in your life receive your perfectly wrapped gifts, but not your love or your full attention or your spirit."

What is your favorite gift or memory? How will your children answer in twenty years? I hope we all have a great story to tell. My hope this season for you and yours is that we also recall why.